Smashing People
by Quinmaster
Summary: Chapter 8 is now up and running. The long awaited chapter. I like readers. This chapter features two new characters WF and Eclipse.
1. School Day

Quinmaster: This is my first Super Smash Bros. Fic. Eh... I'm not going to be in this one, too. I'm a good character. Awe. Anyway I'm going to be a character with not a very big roll. Come on give me some credit. This story is more or less pointless. Below is the Bio of the characters. All these characters won't appear in the same chapter. Some will appear in other chapters.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them. None of them. I own myself and the peed on soda, burger, and chips. I also own myself.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mario: A regular character who always ends his 3rd or 4th word in -a.  
  
Luigi: The other character in the story with no real personality.  
  
Peach: The idiot in the story although, sometimes she'll do some outstanding things.  
  
Link: The wanna be cool guy. He's always trying to have-you-know-what- with Zelda.  
  
Zelda: The more intelligent, stronger, prettier female in the story.  
  
Shiek: I heard was a "she" so I'm going to call her "she" when using the pronoun. The girl no one is attracted to. She is still Zelda's transformation with the same personality.  
  
Y.Link: Gimme my moo-moo milk. Give it. Me and Jigglypuff want to have some fun.  
  
Bowser: You know the role of a really dumb idiot who drinks a lot of beer.  
  
Capt. Falcon: The gay guy.  
  
Yoshi: All he can say is "Yoshi".  
  
Roy: The partner in crime.  
  
Marth: The other partner in crime.  
  
Quin: The guy who really doesn't have a big roll in the story. Ok he's Bowser's friend.  
  
Mewtwo: He has psychic powers.  
  
Ice Climbers: No big roll except the roll of annoying people.  
  
Fox: Loves his pokemon. Literally.  
  
Falco: His partner well Fox's partner.  
  
Pikachu&Pichu: The other annoyances.  
  
Jigglypuff: Young Links girlfriend.  
  
Samus: Loves Bowser.  
  
Gannondorf: A wild and crazy villain.  
  
Ness: Another psychic guy.  
  
Kirby: The pinky.  
  
D.K.: What did he just say? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ School Days  
  
Zelda: Ok class, its time for the test.  
  
Mario whispers toYoung Link.: This is a load-a shit. Zelda thinks she-a knows everything.  
  
Zelda: I heard that. Now its time for the test!  
  
The problems were written on the board. Zelda was no ordinary teacher. She was mean. Here is a sample of the problems.  
  
675.45-56774+ 7645 x Y= ? 574-786 + 8 x 2344.76543 - -32553 x 5  
  
Fox talks to Falco on a warlike talkie: What' number 5 set B?  
  
Falco: I don't know.  
  
Zelda: So we have some cheaters huh? Well now I have to send you to the Pokemon world. Hah-Hah-Hah!  
  
Zelda opens a door to the pokemon world.  
  
Fox: Hubba . Hubba. NidoQueen never looked so good.  
  
Zelda shoves both of them in a door to the pokemon world and locks the door with a chain.  
  
Link: You can't do that!  
  
Zelda: Why not?  
  
Link: Gannondorf and I will stop you before you can do anything. We have the Triforce.  
  
Gannon: Let's get her.  
  
They rush at Zelda but she pulls out a door to Yoshi's Island. Link and Gannondorf run in and Zelda locks the door.  
  
Zelda : Now back to the test.  
  
Peach: Hey Samus that suit doesn't match your eyes.  
  
Samus: So your lipstick doesn't match your shit in the toilet.  
  
Peach: I know you didn't go there.  
  
Samus: Oh yes I did girl.  
  
Peach runs to the door: Now fear my Toads.  
  
Peach opens the door and dozens of Toads jump on Samus.  
  
Peach: Hah. I'm too smart for you Zelda.  
  
Zelda: Oh really.  
  
She pulls out the mirror from Snow White.  
  
Zelda: Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest one of all.  
  
Mirror: Peach. Princess Peach is.  
  
Y.Link: That mirror must be broken.  
  
Zelda: Hey, through this door is a Beauty Salon.  
  
Peach: Oh really.  
  
Peach runs in and Zelda closes the door revealing " The Dogs o Ice " sign.  
  
Zelda: Talk about your idiots.  
  
Capt. Falcon: Hey Mewtwo shows me your moves.  
  
Capt. Falcon does the Harlem shake and picks up Nana and KO each other all thanks to Mewtwo.  
  
Mewtwo: I am the strongest psychic in the world. Hah-Hah-Hah.  
  
Ness: I'm the strongest psychic in the world.  
  
Zelda: There will be no cat fighting.  
  
Mewtwo: I am not a cat.  
  
Ness: I am not a girl.  
  
Zelda casts a spell and puts them in make-up, wigs, skirts, bras, pantyhose, and Pads! (Girls know what I'm talking 'bout.)  
  
Quin: Whew at least I'm still living.  
  
Zelda: No your not.  
  
She calls the Arwing and takes Quin in the ship.  
  
Quin: No I don't wanna. No. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! *breathe* oooooooooooooooooooooooooo.  
  
Zelda Throws him in the ship and runs back to class. Samus is still being attacked.  
  
Samus: Bowser help me!!! _  
  
Bowser listening to music: Pocket full of bub. Mama I got to ask if you into takin' drugs. I'm into havin' sex I ain't into makin' love. So come give me a hug. If you into getting drugged.-50 Cent  
  
Kirby: I'm not going to let you do that.  
  
Zelda throw four poke' balls. Capturing Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and Pichu. But Kirby eats his and Zelda throws D.K.  
  
Kirby: Ppppppppppppaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zelda: Well I think that's everyone. Lunch break.  
  
Roy: What about me?  
  
Marth: Me?  
  
Samus still being crushed: Me?  
  
Mewtwo and Ness still cross-dressed: Us?  
  
Luigi: Me?  
  
Mario: Me-a?  
  
Zelda: Ugh. God damn.  
  
Zelda send them all to the shadow realm.  
  
Yami Yugi: Hey that's my show.  
  
Zelda *angrily: You wanna have lunch to?  
  
Yami Yugi: Sure.  
  
Going to the teachers lounge Zelda opens the freezer where Popo is well.eewww.  
  
Zelda: I want Soda and Chips.  
  
Y. Yugi: I want burgers.  
  
Popo hand the food to them and tells Yami to warm up the burger and close the freezer.  
  
Zelda: Hey my pop is warm. He just .. Peed on my soda!  
  
Yami: Are you gonna drink it.  
  
Zelda: Maybe.  
  
And everyone lived miserably Ever after.  
  
So how do you like it. There will be more. Hah. Post your Reviews. I am now going to make it so that even anonymous people can review the story. Flame me if you want. All I will do is print them, put them on the wall, and laugh at them. So it doesn't bother me. Later Days, Quin 


	2. Love & Burns

Quinmaster: Well here is chapter 2. I will note you all again that all the character will not appear in the same chapters.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own them and never will.  
  
Falco was going into the station to check on Fox. When he got in there, he did not believe what he saw.  
  
Falco: Ewe you are so nasty.  
  
Fox was on the couch with Jigglypuff. Then Young Link appears randomly.  
  
Young Link: Jiggly, How could you?  
  
Jiggly: Jiggly. Jigg. (He was so seductively hot.)  
  
Falco walks in the den.  
  
Pikachu: Pika Pi. (Come on Fox)  
  
Pichu: Pi Pi Pichu (Yeah we are supposed to have a three-some)  
  
Falco:Hey Fox your mates are waiting.  
  
He then walks n the bathroom and Goldeen is swimming in the bathtub.  
  
Falco: A Fish!!!!  
  
Then he walks in Fox's room to see that Mewtwo has been raped.  
  
Falco: Fox you have serious problems man.  
  
Young Link: Jiggly how could you. Wahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Fox: Well I love my Pokemon.  
  
Falco: But how did you rape Mewtwo.  
  
Alakazam walks in.  
  
Fox: I trained Alakazam to take all of Mewtwo's psychic abilities. Then I -- - Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!  
  
Young Link shoots an arrow at Fox's neck. You took MY Jiggly. Now I am going to take you.  
  
Young Link slides down Fox's pants but he has an Arbok come in and do the job.  
  
Falco: I wonder how many licks does it take to get to the center of his tootsie pop? Well, 1, 2, 3.  
  
Arbok: Crunch!!  
  
Fox: Youch!!!  
  
Falco: That has to hurt.  
  
Fox walks off into the horizon.  
  
Bowser sits on the couch drinking his beer.  
  
Bowser: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?  
  
Samus: Hi Bowser!  
  
Bowser: She Demon!!  
  
Samus: I love you to Bowser.  
  
Bowser then eats Samus.  
  
Bowser: Ahh Heart Burn!!!  
  
Bowser picks up a hand full of laxatives! He puts all of them in his mouth at one time.  
  
Bowser: Bathroom!!!: Give me the bathroom!!  
  
Inside Bowser's stomache, Samus sees the laxatives fall in his intestine.  
  
Samus: Ohh no help me!!!!!!!!  
  
Bowser: Fart. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT:  
  
Shit runs down the toilet seat and Samus pops out with her suit melted.  
  
Samus: Bowser you are so unsanitary.  
  
Bowser: Fear the doo-doo gun.  
  
Bowser bends over and shoots dookie on Samus. She avoids some of it but then there comes the turkey he had.  
  
Samus: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zelda walks down the hall when Samus shoots through the wall.  
  
Zelda: Samus. you should watch where you Aim.  
  
Samus pulls Zelda's collar.  
  
Samus: You want some.  
  
Zelda quickly teleports to a safe room but Peach demands they settle who is the strongest Princess.  
  
Peach: Come On.  
  
Zelda: Ok! Dins Fire!!!!  
  
Peach: My hair is on fire. My hair is on fire!!! Someone help.  
  
~ 20 min. later~  
  
Peach: (now bald) Well I have Mario.  
  
Zelda: I have Link.  
  
Zelda: I have Dr. Mario.  
  
Peach: I have Marth.  
  
Zelda: I have Dr. Mario. (She said it again on purpose.)  
  
Peach: Ohh I want that one.  
  
Zelda: Then I will give you short, fat, dumb Dr. Mario for cute, handsome, sweet Marth.  
  
Peach: Well I have lipstick.  
  
Zelda: I have shoes.  
  
Peach: Well, I have a gown.  
  
Zelda: I have one two.  
  
Peach: I have a crown.  
  
Zelda: I have hair.  
  
Peach: Well. I have... umm.-3rd degree burns.  
  
Zelda: I have no more time for this.  
  
Zelda walks out of the room.  
  
So how did you like it? Read and Review please. If you can that would be great. Later Days, Quin 


	3. Oprah Is Coming To Town!

Quinmaster: In the reviews I got you said you wanted to read more Marth and Roy situations, so I decide to do character interviews. These aren't those old we are going to have character interviews just to have someone read it. I am having real character interviews. So if you don't want to read it then hit the back button and go to another fic. This is starring Oprah.  
  
Oprah: Hi, welcome to Oprah. We are having our special guest, Roy, to find out who his long, lost, brother is. Roy we are now going to show you who your brother is.  
  
The brother walks down the aisle and Roy's mouth flies open form shock.  
  
Roy: It can't be!  
  
Marth: Roy, I am your . brother.  
  
Oprah: Can you explain what life was like when you took care of Marth?  
  
Marth: Well, on Christmas I told our mom that I wanted a Little Betty doll and, she said she was going to go get dad some liquor. I just knew she was going to get me one of those Little Betty dolls. It was raining hard that morning, it was foggy, and the road was very slippery. Then mom died from.  
  
Roy: A car accident!  
  
Marth: No. breast cancer. I had to take the responsibility of mom. I had to get a job, provide food, get dad his crack, and breast feed you!  
  
Roy: No it can't be! You aren't my brother! You can't be my brother.  
  
Oprah: And why is that?!  
  
Roy: Cause.  
  
Oprah: We'll be back after these commercials.  
  
Announcer: Come and try our new McDonalds Chicken Sandwich. It's only $2.99! What great taste and get a free large drink when you buy 2. You save over $1.50! Great! Now come and get the sandwich.  
  
Oprah: We are now back and we have a drunken dinosaur that decides to change his name and a few other things. Welcome to the show Bowser!  
  
Bowser: Hi Okra!  
  
Oprah: It's O-ppppp-rah!  
  
Bowser: Whatever.  
  
Oprah: Now what do you want to change your name to?  
  
Bowser: Wassaber.  
  
Oprah: What?!  
  
Bowser: Wassaber.  
  
Oprah: Please pronounce that slowly.  
  
Bowser: Was.a.beer.  
  
Oprah: Ok so what else do you want to change?  
  
Bowser: I also need to change my medication.my laxatives aren't strong enough!  
  
Oprah: How?  
  
Bowser: I am constipated and I just can't seem to get this thing out of me.  
  
Oprah: Maybe you should go pray to God. Come one lets pray.  
  
Bowser: Our Father which are in heaven. how would it be thine name.. let me release this evil demon inside of me.  
  
*Angels start singing!  
  
*BBBBOOOOMMMM  
  
Y.Link pops out!  
  
Oprah: Ewe clean up this stage.  
  
Bowser: I feel ¼ of a gram lighter.  
  
Oprah: So do you feel any better?  
  
Bowser: Yeah but I just ate these beans so * Fart* Hey Oprah you got a little something' on your face.  
  
Bowser's shit hardened on Oprah's face so all you could here is mumbles.  
  
Oprah:Mmmmm-hhmmm (I can't breathe)  
  
Bowser: The more you struggle the more it hardens!  
  
The stage managers get a jack hammer and get it offs Oprah face.  
  
Oprah: I'm filing a law suit!  
  
The stage members get Bowser off the stage and put a plug in him.  
  
Commercial  
  
Oprah: Now this is the end of the show! See ya folks!  
  
Bowser: Let's have a keg party!  
  
Quin: Okay I'll invite everyone.  
  
*Quin picks up the phone, dials one number, then everyone's phone rings and he invites them over.  
  
Sorry but it has to end here but you'll see the next chapter."Keg Party"!  
  
Post your reviews and flame all you want. It just makes more reviews so what's the point. Hah! Like I care if you flame. Later Days, Quin 


	4. The Keg Party

Quinmaster: Sorry I haven't updated faster. I will try to update this story faster because I am deleting my old stories and starting a new set of stories. So if you haven't read any of them I am sorry. They just have to go. How many days will it take to update? Maybe once a week or every two weeks. Now I will start the story.

Bowser: Quin, have you ordered the beer for the party?

Quin: Not yet but give me five minutes the party doesn't start till 8:00 and it 11:00.

Bowser: Please hurry and order the beer because if I don't have beer I will get a stomache ache?

Quin: Uhhh? Yeah gotcha?

Boser: I haven't drank beer today, yesterday, or 3 years from now!

Quin: Idiot!

Quin calls on the phone to order the beer but Mr. Game & Watch answers because he works there.

Quin: I would like to order 500 cases of beer.

Mr. G: beep Beeper Beepity. (500 Cheers?)

Quin: No Beer.

Mr. G: Beeperity Beep (500 deer?)

Quin: Beer asshole!

Mr. G: Beepy! (Ohh beer) Beepersome. (I'll have it by 6:00.)

~8:00 At The Party~

Link walks in looking for Zelda and spots her chugging beer.

Link: Zelda, what happened to you?! Are you pregnant?

Zelda: (drunkly) Nope. I just got a beer belly. You like it?

Link: No! Get rid of it!

Zelda uses her magic and gets rid of the belly. But she picks up a beer and puts some Prozak in it!

Zelda: Link lets go into the back room and I'll give you a little sumthin' sumthin'!

Link: Hell Yeah!

Zelda get a reaction from the Prozak when they get into the room.

Zelda: What's my name Link?

Link: Zelda!

Zelda: Who's is it Link who's is it? *Smack* 

Link:Oww! Yours!

Zelda Bites Link and Link tries to get away!

Zelda: Aww you ain't goin' nowhere!

Link: Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

~Quin has to Go to the Bathroom~

Quin walks in the bathroom and yet sees Mario and Samus!

Quin: Oohh Weee! I am going to tell Peach!

Mario: No it's not what it looks like!

Quin: Yeah it looks like you are short in all the ways!

Quin runs out and goes to find Peach and ….. well….*gulp*…Zelda!

Quin: Oh My god! I am gonna tell Link!

Peach: No … I am not gay! Her stuff is sour!

Zelda: Well yours is raw!

Quin: Don't change the subject!

Quin runs to find Link but finds him in the living room with Jiggly Puff!

Quin: What the Fuck?

Link: Well….I still liked her.

Quin: Jiggly Puff I am surprised! Now I have to tell Young Link!

Jiggly: Jigger Jig! ( Aww the regular Link is better anyway!)

Quin runs to the kitchen and finds…a glass of beer! Hey all this runnin' is making me tired! _

Quin finds Y. Link with ,,, I really don't want to say!

Quin: Oh my Lord Y. Link I never would have guessed it!

Y. Link: I am tired of mmy brother and I don't want to be like him.

Capt. Falcon: Yeah! So if you wanna join stay! If not let us finish.

Quin walks out slowly and says---

Quin: Bye!

Y. Link & Capt. Falcon: See ya!

After Quin leaves he hurls!

~The Party is Over thanks to and Explosion!

Gannondorf: No Bowser don't do it!

Bowser: Yeah I am goin' in!

Gannon: No please I will never regret it!

Bowser: This is my first time so lets see what happens.

Gannon: Its gonna explode!

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whole place blows up and everyon flies in different spaces.

Gannon: You had to blow fire on the beer!

Quinmaster: What were you thinking they were doing you sick pervert!

Samus: Bowser I Love You!!

Bowser: She Demon!!!!!!!!!!

Peach: Zelda I will never forget you!

Zelda: Peach you are the best!

Young Link: Did you use a condom?

Capt. Falcon: No.. It takes away all the feelings!

Quin: Mario don't you think I haven't forgotten!

Mario: My Princess will never forgive me!

Oprah: Bowser! This shit still hasn't come off!

Bowser: Sue!!! ME!

Everyone! Looks like Super Smash Bros. And Oprah are blasting off separately.

DDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quinmater:Review please all flame swill be posted up and laughed at! So I really don't care about your criticism suckers!!


	5. Love Hurts! Right?

Quinmaster:. Please no flames. If you have any requests leave them in a review or email me at digimunstar34@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: If I owned them I would be making another Super Smash Brothers game for the Nintendo Gamecube!

~~~~~~Love Finder~~~~~~

Quin: Okay we have a special guest Capt. Falcon! He is trying to find his true love so please give a warm round of applause to Capt. Falcon.

Audience: *CLAP* *CALP*

Quin: Okay Capt. Falcon, do you know the rules?

Capt. F: No.

Quin: You ask 1 questions to the 3 mystery contestants and when you have asked all 3 1 question you must choose who is your true love. Now let's begin!

Capt. Falcon: Okay, Mystery Contestant # 1 if you were in a strip club which would you where when you took of your clothes A. Thong B. Pad C.Steering Wheel?

Contestant #1: Well-a maybe a pad?

Capt. Falcon: Contestant#2, If you were in a car and you ran over Mario what would you do?

Contestant #2: Well I would stand over him and say "You got knocked the Fuck Out!".

Capt. Falcon: Contestant #3, If you met Bowser and you had a gun what would you do?

Contestant #3: Well I would kill him because this shit is still on my face! 

(You'll have to read my other fic Smashing People to understand that.)

Quin: Well pick your Contesstant.

Capt. Falcon: Well I pick Contestant #...uhh…2!

Quin: Contestant #2 come on out!

Capt. Falcon: Yes! Yes! I finally got him!

Link: What!? Quin you said there would be a hot girl!

Quin: (desperately) That's all the time we have for today!

Capt. Falcon: Come on I have a nice hot bath waiting at my house!

Link: Quin when the next chapter comes I am gonna kill you!

Quin: Well think of it this way…he had Young Link so you should be gay.

Link: He what?! Why when  I get my hand---oww!(Knocked Out!)

Capt. Falcon: This steering wheel aught to shut him up!

Quin: See ya next time!

Quinmaster: Maybe not as funny but I wll have funnier. B)


	6. Captain's Baby!

****

Author's Note: Sorry but I was away for a while so I really couldn't update on my fic. Sorry I broke the promise. I hope I'll start having more time to update. This fic will be a little different because it has a few rewritten song from rap artists. I hope you like it as much as I did thinking a bout the words to replace. 

****

Disclaimer: I own them or maybe I don't. I don't own them so sorry but if I did I would say yes. Wouldn't I? Maybe not. Whatever… woo- hoo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Captain Falcon Got A Brand New Baby~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Capt. F: No, if you don't take full responsibility I will put you on Child Support.

Young Link: Hah.. I am way too young to have a child. Hence the name **Young **Link.

*Quin had just walked in on the "affair".

Quin: How in the hell can you have an affair with an 11 year old kid? Heh, this stuff gets weirder and weirder. Back to the question, how in the hell can you have an affair with an 11 year old kid?

Young Link: Stay out of this it's not your baby so don't worry about it.

Quin: I don't see a baby. *Looks left then right*

*Capt. Falcon holds up Capt. Linky!

Quin: Ack. Qhat the fuck is that.

Young Link: My child dumbass. I don't know what you are talking about when you said "thing"?

Quin: My god _he_ has got to see this.

*Quin pulls Link out of his room dragging him down the stairs not caring whom or what he hits.

Quin: Look at your child Link.

Link: That ain't mine. Hey he has Capt. Falcon's eyes and my hair. That ain't mine and it never will be.

Young Link: Well, I am a younger you so evidently you are the father.

*Capt. Falcon leans up to Link.

Captain Falcon: Yeah maybe you're a little bigger than you younger version! * clicks tongue *

Link: I am not a homophobe.

*Quin holds up a picture of Marth naked and Link gets an erection.

Link: No, no, no! It can't be. Nooooooooooo!

*The room spins around with Link looking up.

Link: Wait then who was I sleeping with last night?

*Flashback*

Unknown guy: Are you ready?

Link: Yeah I've been waiting for this.

*When they get in the bed Link remembers who it is.

*End Flashback*

Link: Oh no it can't be. It was … it was… it was rrr….rrrr…rr…Ganondorf.

Quin: Damn Elf boy I feel bad for you.

Captain Falcon: Hey Link you cheated on me. You are a dead man.

*Link grabs baby Capt. Linky and kills him.*

Quin: Ohh noo you killed Capt. Linky!

Young Link: You bastard!

  
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Captain Falcon: Now who in the hell can that be?

Quin: I'll give you one guess. *Opens Door*

Marth: Heya Link Ganon told me all about last knight and well you know I wanted to--

*Capt. Faclon tackles Marth but Marth retaliates an Ko's Captain Falcon.*

Marth: Now Link I was saying-- *Marth looks around* where did he go.

*Quin points out of the window*

Link: I'm gonna commit suicide! Maybe I'll be straight again. * Jumps into water but before he reaches the water, Oprah grabs him out of mid-air*

Oprah: I need someone on my talk show!

Marth: Hey you're cute how about we go and *makes certain movements*

Young Link: Sure.

Marth: I was talking about him.

Quin: Yo man I'll pass.

Marth: Like hell you won't!

* Quin jumps off the window but hangs onto the edge*

The Man with the Creepy Hand on Scary Movie 2: Grab my hand!

Quin: No give me your other hand.

Creepy Hand Man: No grab my little hand it's the strong one.

Quin lets go and drops to his death.

~End~

~Rap Songs ~

Missy Elliot AKA Capt. Falcon

{*scratching*} DJ please, pick up your phone  
I'm on the request line {*scratching*}  
This is a Captain Falcon one time exclusive  
(C'mon, c'mon)

Chorus:  
Is it worth it, let me suck it  
I open my mouth, suck it then lick it{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick )

If you got a big [elephant], let me search ya  
To find out how hard I gotta suck ya  
{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick "*}

I'd like to get to know ya so I could show ya  
Put the dick in ya like I told ya  
Gimme all your numbers so I could phone ya  
Your boy actin' stank then call me over  
Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa  
Phone before you come, I need to shave my chocha  
You do or you don't or you will or won't ya  
Go downtown and suck it like a vulture  
See my hips and my tips, don't ya  
See my ass and my lips, don't ya  
Lost a few pounds in my waist for ya  
This be the beat that goes ba ta ta  
ba ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta  
Sex me so good I say blah-blah-blah  
Work it, I need a glass of water  
Boy, oh, boy, it's good to know ya 

Is it worth it, let me suck it  
I open my mouth, suck it then lick it{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick )

If you got a big [elephant], let me search ya  
To find out how hard I gotta suck ya  
{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick "*}

If you a fly gal get your nails done  
Get a pedicure, get your hair did  
Boy, lift it up, let's make a toast-a  
Let's get drunk, that's gon' bring us closer  
Don't I look like a Marth/Roy poster  
See the Belvedere playin' tricks on ya  
Boyfriend wanna be like me, never  
You won't find a bitch that's even better  
I make you hot as Las Vegas weather  
Listen up close while I take it backwards  
(Watch the way Captain like to take it backwards) [backwards]  
I'm not a prostitute, but I could give you what you want  
I love your braids and your mouth full of floss  
Love the way my ass go bum-bum-bum-bum  
Keep your eyes on my bum-bum-bum-bum-bum  
And think you can handle this gadong-a-dong-dong  
Take my thong off and my ass go vroom  
Cut the lights off so you see what I could do 

Is it worth it, let me suck it  
I open my mouth, suck it then lick it{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick )

If you got a big [elephant], let me search ya  
To find out how hard I gotta suck ya  
{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick "*}

  
Boys, boys, all type of boys  
Black, white, Puerto Rican, Japanese boys  
Why-thai,-thai-o-toy-o-thai-thai  
Rock-thai,-thai-o-toy-o-thai-thai  
Boy, Boy, get that cash  
If it's 9 to 5 or shakin' your ass  
Ain't no shame, boys do your thang  
Just make sure you ahead of the game  
Just 'cause I got a lot of fame supa  
Link couldn't get me change my name papa  
Kunta Kinte a slave again, no sir  
Picture me sayin', "Oh, yes a master"  
Picture Peach dating a pastor  
Ganon and Mewtwo can out last ya  
Who is the best, I don't have to ask ya  
When I come out you won't even matter  
Why you act dumb like "Uh, duh"  
So you act dumb like "Uh, duh"  
As the drummer boy go ba-rom-pop-pom-pom  
Give you some-some-some of this Cinnabun 

Is it worth it, let me suck it  
I open my mouth, suck it then lick it{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick )

If you got a big [elephant], let me search ya  
To find out how hard I gotta suck ya  
{*"I open my mouth, suck it then lick "*}

To my fellas, ooooh  
Good God, I like the way you work that  
{*scratching: "Peter Piper" featuring Jam Master Jay*}  
To my men, woo  
You sure know how to work that, good God

Qunmaster: Sorry I miscounted on my documents and I only have that one song sorry. Will be more next one.


	7. The Day Bad things Happen

Quinmaster: Sorry for the missed updates. I completely forgot about the fic. Thanks to Totokeke for reminding me I had to update my fics! ^_^ Now I am a happy guy. Now lets get to the story!  
  
Young Link was low on his supply of MOO MOO milk. He was going crazy if he didn't get any. Moo Moo milk I mean.  
  
Young Link: I need milk! Milk.  
  
Bowser walks in the room holding a jug of Moo Moo milk.  
  
Y. Link: Please can I have just a sip of milk? Please, I will do anything!  
  
Bowser: Hmm. Anything you say! Here have the whole bottle!  
  
Boswer handed Y. Link the bottle and he drank to his hearts content but something was wrong.  
  
Young Link: *spits* EWWWW! What is this?  
  
Bowser: Ha Ha Ha! That was white food coloring with shit in it. Produced by me. Didn't you check the label on the bottle?  
  
Young Link read the bottle carefully and it read "Made by Bowser. I shit in it and You drank it. I also make beer made from Pee. enjoy!"  
  
Young Link: Aw this can't get any worse!  
  
Bowser: You have something to do for me. It's a deal now I want you to..  
  
Zelda walked up to Quin asking lots of questions.  
  
Zelda: Have you told Link about me and Peach/  
  
Quin: Maybe. If you give me some money then you will know if I told or not.  
  
Zelda: How much do you want?  
  
Quin: 999 coins.  
  
Zelda: How about 99 lives. They are the same amount.  
  
Quin: Okay and you have to do something else?  
  
Zelda: What would that be? I can do anything.  
  
Quin: well can you make Peach smarter?  
  
Zelda:o.0 I can do anything but that!  
  
Quin: Well double her IQ!  
  
Zelda: Okay! Double Peach's IQ! Done. Peach now has an IQ of 30.  
  
Quin: So she really is dumb?  
  
Peach walked in the room with a wig.  
  
Zelda: Has your hair grown back yet?  
  
Peach: No! I want hair1 I am bald!  
  
Quin: SO that is why she did that with you! You looked like a man.  
  
Peach: You little brat if I were a little smarted and stronger then I would stick my foot in you!  
  
Quin: God sure didn't stick any hair on you!  
  
Zelda: HA HA HA! Bald Peach! Bald Peach!  
  
Peach: Leave my bald head alone!  
  
Quin pulls off Peach's wig and shines a light on her head.  
  
Quin: I can see my reflection!  
  
Zelda: Peach you are so bald, I can see your thoughts!  
  
Peach: Why you little! I should kill you!  
  
Peach pulled out a giant needle and started attacking Quin and Zelda. Luckily Peach didn't know how to fight and she stabbed herself a LOT!  
  
~ 2 Hours Later ~  
  
Peach stuck herself so many times she looked like a piece of Swiss Cheese.  
  
Quin: Mmm. I am hungry! *breaks off a piece of Peach*  
  
Zelda: What does she taste like?  
  
Quin: Peach's and Cream Cheese.  
  
Peach: Stop eating me!  
  
Zelda: Ewww. Peach that didn't sound right!  
  
Quin: I know what likes cheese! Mice!  
  
Quin let out dozens of mice and they attacked Peach, but cats ate all the mice then started on Peach!  
  
Peach: help! My Pussy's going crazy! Help! Bad pussy! Bad, bad, bad---  
  
All The Cats: Peachy!  
  
Quin: Maybe we should go.  
  
Zelda and Quin walk out of the living room slowly. Making sure the cats don't attack them.  
  
Link: So do you want to?  
  
Marth: I am not sure. Maybe we should have a conversation before we do.  
  
Link: No we can go ahead and do it. No one is watching.  
  
Marth: You go first. You get the top and I get the bottom.  
  
Link: Okay the bed is going to rock a LOT!  
  
Marth: It won't disturb me. As long as I get to wear the you know what.  
  
Link: Okay I have the top bunk, you have the bottom bunk, and you get to wear the blue PJ's.  
  
Marth: Okay. Cool with me.  
  
Fox: Hey Mewtwo. Com here. Now.  
  
Mewtwo: What do you want now? This better not be the same thing that happened before.  
  
Fox: Don't worry it won't hurt this time.  
  
Mewtwo: It did last time and remember what Young Link did?  
  
Fox: Don't worry about it. Just spread your legs and enjpy it.  
  
Mewtwo: Okay. Remember, None of that "Who your Poke'mon Master" Stuff either.  
  
~2 hours later~  
  
Fox: I win. I pinned you first.  
  
Mewtwo: How come everytime we wrestle you win?  
  
Fox: Because I have the Power! It's morphing Time!  
  
Fox turns into a Red Power Ranger.  
  
Fox: Kyah!  
  
Metwo: Wrong show! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jiggly Puff: PUFF! JIGGLY! (What the Fuck?!)  
  
Jiggly Puff had walked in on Young Link and Bowser.  
  
Bowser: Quickly get it out! Get it out now!  
  
Y. Link: I'm trying it's not budging!  
  
Jiggly Puff: Jigg! *pounds Y. Link*  
  
Young Link: Oww! I am helping Bowser get this dookie out!  
  
Jiggly Puff: Jig Jiggly ( You haven't given me any in 4 chapters )  
  
Young Link: I turned GAY!  
  
Jiggly Puff: JIG PUFF! (WHAT?!)  
  
Bowser: Yeah he turned gay. Go fight Captain Falcon if you are so mad!  
  
Jiggly Puff: Jig Puff! Puffer! ( I am getting my man back! )  
  
Roy: Okay. So I want to get A blood test saying Marth is my brother.  
  
Oprah: Why?! We said he is your brother! I am Oprah Winfrey! I know everything!  
  
Roy: Do you have any film clips of my brother?  
  
Oprah: Yes. We do! A clip from about well today!  
  
~Clip Rolls~  
  
Marth: Ride me Link!  
  
Link: Yes! God you are so tight!  
  
MArth: Roy isn't my brother! He is my son!  
  
Link: How? Who is the mom?  
  
Marth: Ride me harder and I will tell you!  
  
Link: Now tell me!  
  
Marth: I am the mother and the father is, Gannondorf! He came out of the hole in my penis!  
  
Link: 0.o  
  
~Clip Scartches~  
  
Roy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Oprah: I..I.I am wrong! Oh well. Well, we know who your father and MOTHER!  
  
Roy: *faints*  
  
Jiggly Puff: Jig Jigger! (I want my man back)  
  
Falco: So you want your man back. Well make him jealous.  
  
Jigy Puff; Jig Pufff? (How? With who?)  
  
Falco: Kirby! Kirby come out!  
  
Kirby: Poyo! (Come here sweet thang!)  
  
Jiggly Puff: PUFF! PUFF! (I found love)  
  
Kirby and Jiggly Puff dance the Tango!  
  
Falco: And the day is saved thanks to THE SUPER SMASH BROTHERS and women!  
  
Quinmaster: I have to end it here. I will update as soon as possible. And toflamers and haters united, I don't care if you don't like my fics. Then why did you read it if you are just going to talk about how bad it is. Although I like getting reveiews! Yeah! So R and R for me!  
  
Later Days,  
Quin 


	8. 3 bitches and a Goddess!

Qinmaster: Heya. Nice little update. I womped with all this not updating. Remember haters and flamers united, I don't care about flames. They just make my reviews go up. I love reviews so please give a quick one.

Disclaimer: I do not own them. I also do not own Eclipse Passion. This character is owned by a friend of mine. Ask her if you can use her. Thank you Eclipse!

~Meet Eclipse the Goddess~

Eclipse walked in on Peach, Zelda, and Samus watching T.V. She was a new smasher a Goddess so to speak. She boasts incredible powers and is very patient. A very lovely Vixen.

Eclipse: Hey guys. I'm a new character! When do we fight?

Zelda: When the narrator gives us a match. Are you some new princess? You best watch yourself. I am the strongest and prettiest female.

Peach: Hah! I am I don't even have to wear make-up! My face naturally makes the blush and lipstick.

Zelda got very angry and wiped her hand across Peach's face finding her glove smudged with Bowser's shit. It was food colored.

Zelda: Ah SHIT!

Eclipse gave a quick giggle and used her very powerful Goddess powers to clean Zelda's glove.

Samus: Oooh. Looks like someone else has magic powers like you.

Zedla: Let's settle whom is the strongest. This will be a 4-Way match between Me the pretty one, Samus the one with the suit, Peach the hussy-whore, and you Eclipse Pussy.

Eclipse: It is Passion! The last name is Passion! I won't mind knocking you ugly bitches out of an arena. I won't even have to use my Goddess powers to whup y'all asses.

~The new Fox~

WoolfwoodFox's nickname was WF. He carried a REAL gun instead of some fake blaster. After a very tiring flight he wanted to lay down, little did he know he was laying in the same room as Capt. Falcon.

WF: Ah. My feet hurt. I need a long rest.

Capt. Falcon:  You know what goes best with hurting feet? Hot sex…

Capt. Falcon gave that "I want you" glare. Fox backed away a bit, but Capt. Falcon came closer.

WF: Excuse me. I don't get down like that. I would rather sleep with my beautiful wife…Eclipse Passion.

Capt. Falcon: Women are whiney bitches…fuck a man and see if he can ride you like I can.

WF: Insult my wife again and I will have to get Mid-evil on your ass.

Sparks flew between these two. After he got dumped by Young Link and Link slept with Gannondorf and Marth was still chasing Quin. He needed some good action.

WF: Leave me alone. Now!

Capt. Falcon: I said no!  I want some now!

WF: I'm straight okay. Now *pulls out gun* Bye Bye! *shoots*

Capt. Falcon flew threw the wall, a pool full of sharks, and a cheese grater. He now was bite sized pieces and Bowser game into the room and ate him.

Bowser: Mmmmm. Capt. Falcon's like kids!

~3 Bitches and a real Goddess~

The match had begun. Eclipse rushed at Peach. He gave two quick punches and a high kick. She threw a chair (she can't use her powers :p) but Peach retaliated by opening her Parasol and blocking it. Peach floated above Eclipse and gave a the Crown Smack. Eclipse flew back and hit the wall. Her Eclipse power had kicked in. Her eyes glazed over and she started floating. Thunder stuck Peach and sent her flying off the stage. A one hit KO!

Zelda gave a quick flash attach but Samus's suit blocked it. Samus gave a Screw Attack, found a poke'ball and threw it. Zelda was lying on the ground and the Poke'Ball opened. Out came Zapdos and used it Thunder attack. Zelda quickly used Nayrus' Love and deflected it. Samus was struck…hard. Samus charged her shot but Zelda transformed into Shiek(the first time in this story). Shiek threw some needles and stopped the charging. Samus rushed in and sent Shiek flying! Shiek tried teleporting but he failed because it was a short 3rd jump. KO to Zelda!

Now only a warrior was left and a nice Goddess. Samus charged her shot and let it loose!

Eclipse was guarded by her new found power "Eclipse Force" which counted all damage in half. Samus went on the physical and knocked Eclipse off of her feet. She was just a waiting target. She picked herself up and used "Eternal Dance". Eclipse did a wonderful yet mysterious dance. Samus was to die in three steps. Samus had to make a move. One step and a high kick. Eclipse got back up and pulled Samus's arm and she took 4 steps! AUTO KO!

ECLIPSE THE CHAMPION!

~ End~

I will update quickly. I promise this time. I will have a lot of time this week and next week. So expect quicker updates! Remember R&R!


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